Lost

I want to smile but I don't know how. I have forgotten how. I wonder why without realizing until now. I found out I have lost something. I don't know how. I am too afraid to know what it seems too valuable. My heart aches. It troubles my mind filled with pain, suffering is inevitable. I want to cry but I do not know how. Fallen, I search day and night. But to regain what has been lost seems impossible. Filled with grief and sorrow, alone, blinded by the dark, isolated from the world, silence deafens my ears. Speechless I am as I forever await hoping. I am a fool, stubborn and arrogant, perhaps a dreamer. In the end, all is lost. No matter what is yet to be done, destiny has already decided. What I fear most has consumed me in total darkness beyond any help forever lost.